PARENT/STUDENT DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR PHYSICAL CHANGES DURING PUBERTY
If you have a 10-14 year old than you should consider having a discussion with them about the changes going on in their body, mind, and soul. This discussion guide helps you begin that discussion by talking about the physical changes (the most awkward part!) Far better for them to hear it from you than to just leave them alone in this process.
Discussion Starter #1
PARENT
When I was your age I started noticing my body beginning to change. My voice changed, I started having to use deodorant, and there were many other changes as well. This is what you can expect too. At times I felt embarrassed about these changes, so I want us to talk about these changes so you will know they are normal.
Below is a list of some physiological changes you may choose to discuss. (or not to discuss)
* Acne
* Growth Spurts
* Change in Voice
* Breast Development
* Menstration
* Early Bloomers (girls and guys body develops faster than others)
* Late Bloomers (girls and guys body develops later than others)
* Body Hair under arms, on legs, on face (guys), and Pubic Hair
* Nocturnal Emissions (wet dreams)
Ask Your Student These Questions
1. Have you noticed any of these changes with yourself or your friends?
2. How do you feel about what is happening?
Student
Ask Your Parent These Questions
1. How did you feel when you were my age and went through these changes?
2. Some of my friends seem to be further along than me, and some seem to be not changing at all yet. Why is that?
Discussion Starter #2
PARENT
A four year old can say anything that comes to mind and sometimes does things with no fear of embarrassment or worry of what people think. But around the age of 12 this begins to change, I can remember when… (Share an early adolescent memory of when you felt very self-conscious or like everyone was “staring” at you.)
Ask Your Student These Questions
1. Do you ever wonder what people around you think about you?
2. How do you feel when you are with your friends, you enter a class, and/or get on the bus?
Discussion Starter #3
STUDENT
Now that I am getting older there are some things that feel like they matter to me more than they used to, like the clothes I wear, hair style, body odor, being on time, the car we drive, some things about our family… (Share your thoughts about these kinds of things with your parent.)
Ask Your Parent These Questions
1. Do you remember feeling differently at my age?
2. Sometimes there are things about me and about our family that I feel embarrassed about. Did you ever feel that when you were growing up?
Discussion Starter #4
PARENT
As we change into adults we start to become more aware of ourselves and of people around us. This new awareness can cause us to feel a lot of different emotions: fear, anxiety, joy, or excitement. Most everyone begins to have more intense feelings during these early teenage years. I want you to know you can always tell me how you feel about someone or any situation, and perhaps I can help. I want to support you as you learn to cope with these new emotions.
Ask Your Student These Questions
1. Over the next few years there are going to be times where you are moody, frustrated, and mad without really knowing why. How would you like us as a family to respond to you in those times?
2. When we disagree with each other over the next few years what are some “rules of engagement” that you think we can follow to help us fight fair?
Student
Ask Your Parent These Questions
1. When you were my age did you ever get into arguments with your parents? If so, how did you handle it?
2. Do you think that you and your parents did it the right way; how would you like us to do it differently?
Discussion Starter #5
PARENT
As you grow these next few years there will be a lot of changes. You are changing from being a child to becoming an adult. There are fun and exciting things about becoming an adult and there are also sad and difficult things about these changes. Sometimes I wish I could wrap you up and protect you from the “adult world”, at other times I want to help push you forward into adulthood.
Ask Your Student These Questions
1. Do you feel nervous or afraid about anything you see happening with your self or your friends?
Student
2. Tell me the story of what your life was like when you were my age? Don’t leave anything out!
** I hope this guide gives you an idea of just how rich a conversation like this could be for your relationship. See you tomorrow!
