On Day 2 of our YouTube Series, “Raising Beaver Cleaver Kids in a Beavis and Butthead World” we talked about the 3 stages of parenting. If you missed it, you can watch it below…
It can be shocking when your little child reaches the early adolescent stage. You begin to receive less sweet hugs and kisses and get more…
* fits of rage
Here are 3 ways to face the “Emotional Labor” that we introduced in our YouTube video (link) today.
1. GET THE WHOLE STORY- During the baby years you understood that your baby couldn’t control what they were feeling. When they cried you came running, because you knew they needed you. It might interest you to know that the 0-2 age range is extremely similar from a development perspective to a 10-13 year old. There are so many changes happening in their mind, body, and soul. Many times they genuinely can’t control what they are feeling, and have no idea how to communicate it to you. Choose today to see their anger as the new “baby’s cry” and come running to help.
2. DON’T RETURN EMOTION WITH MORE EMOTION- The “emotional vortex” occurs when a teenager offers their parents an emotional outburst only to have their parent bring even more emotion. The cycle continues until their is a full-blown breakdown in the relationship. This must be avoided at all costs. In this stage of parenting you should see yourself as the great diffuser. When your teen is upset you respond by being as calm as you possibly can. This will begin to diffuse the emotion and help you attack the real issue.
3. FIND A HEALTHY PLACE TO DUMP YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTION- The vast majority of parents I work with skip this step and therefore find it almost possible to remain calm with their teenager. You can’t receive someone’s anger and stress without finding a place to get rid of it. You must pay attention to your own emotional health so that you are free to guide your teenager.