Parentzilla

I Have a Dream

Don’t you just love a cup of coffee in the morning?

I know I do.

Last Saturday morning my peaceful cup of morning coffee was invaded by my two boys screaming craziness at each other.

The sibling rivalry was quickly turning into a sibling war, and I had no choice but to intervene.

In an unusual moment of clarity I said this, “Boys, I have a dream…”

Now my boys know that one of my heroes in life is Martin Luther King Jr. so they immediately recognized my inference and stopped their screams to look at me.

I continued…..

“I have a dream that we would have a home where no one yells.”

“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

Their shocked look told me the element of surprise had captured their attention, so I quickly took advantage of it.

All I can say is that it worked. At least for a few minutes they stopped yelling.

The funny part was the next day when I got angry about something and raised my voice I heard my oldest son say, “Dad, I have a dream…..”

He didn’t need to finish.

What is the dream you have for your home right now?

How can you communicate your dream to your family?

What would your home be like if there were no yelling?

These are the kind of thoughts to build a dream on…. enjoy.

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Does Your Teenager Want You to Meet With Them?

It never ceases to amaze me how much can be learned if we would just take a moment to ask and then really listen to the answer.

I had the really cool opportunity to ask a few teenagers what they thought of the whole idea of having a set appointment with their parent.

Their answers may surprise some of you. I know they surprised me.

I thought they would laugh at the idea of spending “on purpose” time with their parent. On the contrary! The ones I spoke with thought it was a great idea. Actually, they seemed to yearn for one on one time with their parent.

The words I heard them say when I asked them to give me a single answer to their thoughts of having an appointment were fun, smart, good, important, bonding, and even the word “relationship”. No joke! These teens thought that having one on one time where they don’t compete with work or siblings or your smart phone was something that they would be very interested in.

One teenage boy said that to have his dad make an appointment with him would be “AWESOME. He works so much that I don’t see him a whole lot. An appointment would show he really cares because I already know he can provide for me.”

Another teenager said “I think an appointment would help me feel more comfortable telling my parents stuff. I don’t always want to, but if was just her and me then I think it would be easier to talk to them. You know, open up more.”

I asked what some cons would be to this whole idea of having an appointment with their parent. The only one they could come up with is that it might be embarrassing if their friends saw them in public together.

Now don’t let that be discouraging. All teens go through a time when they don’t want to be seen with their parent. It has nothing to do with you but everything to do with your teen’s budding sense of independence. It’s actually healthy. If your teen is in this stage, allow your appointments to be in a place where there is a small chance of running into their friends. Friday night at the theatre might not be a good idea!

Our kids want us to know them and they want to know us. And I believe very strongly that these appointments could be a game changer in our relationship with our teens.

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Bridge Builder #2- 60 Ideas for a Regular Appointment with Your Teenager

OK, so you want to hang out with your teenager, but you don’t know what to do?

We’ve got you covered. Let us do that work for you.

Here are 60 Ideas for a Regular Appointment with Your Teenager

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Bridge Builder #2- What to do When Your Appointment With Your Teenager Goes Terribly Wrong!!

by Shellie Hochstetler

Stupid, stupid animal!

Why, on today of all days, did Jim Barr (one of my quarter horses) have to be so stubborn!

I remember thinking those thoughts as my “appointment” walked up to the fenced stable yard. I was 16 years old and my “appointment” was a really cute 16 year old boy who was new to our school. I was trying to be nice and include him so he wouldn’t feel left out, being new and all. Yeah, right!

Now I knew that this particular horse had a stubborn streak almost as wide as my own, but I was determined to show him who was boss. Unfortunately, the horse didn’t have the same mind frame as I did. Oh how I wanted to impress this young man with my horsemanship prowess.

You see, all morning I had planned out in my head exactly how that afternoon would progress. Nicholas Sparks would have asked me to write a novel about it. It was that perfect! I just knew that as this young man stepped from his car and made his way toward the pasture, I would gracefully be gliding up to the fence astride this powerful horse with my hair streaming behind me and the sun casting ribbons of light all around me.

How could he resist that?

Oh how naïve the young are.

You want to know what really happened?

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